Positive side effects of bed/couch rest - Mental growth & relationship development

Who would have thought that so much good can come out of what my doctor calls "torturing" i.e. spending weeks in bed/couch rest? Initially I did not realize how positive this whole experience can be.

The most simple side effect is what has been the most difficult one for me to achieve in the past years....letting go of being in charge and allowing myself to need anyone.
The is positive side of being very independent but in a relationship it can also cause challenges. Moving to US was first good step in the development. I was in a completely new and strange environment. I allowed myself to need my husband to help me to get settled. He did such an excellent job in it and continues doing that every time something new comes my way (dealing with taxes, health insurance, etc.).

Now I have taken the second, even bigger step. Since I cannot do anything much, I had to let go and allow my husband to take over running the household. After first few days I realized how positive this change was to our relationship! We both were thrown outside of our comfort zone, yet had to work as a team. My role was to allow my husband to do things in his way and stay out of "his kitchen" (as it is called nowadays) and his role was to take on everything to keep things rolling.

I used to hear from him the statements that he does not cook, nor does he like doing laundry or grocery shopping. What I have noticed while observing...he is an EXCELLENT cook! He cooks some Finnish dishes better than I do, he spices them up nicely. He is amazingly reliable grocery shopper, event without a list he knows to bring the right items. He seems rather content too :)

My husband has, due to his own positive experience in all this, helped me also to get away from feeling guilty about not being able to do anything. Every time I have tried to offer help or trying to sneak to the kitchen help, I get a loving but firm command:" Couch, now." or "Yes, you can help by going to the couch and keep me company or just look pretty."

Goes without saying how happy and proud I am of him, not to mention so very grateful. I would even date to say that our relationship has changed positively, we have strengthened the bond between each other. We have been a great team since day one but we are now even a stronger team together.

I am extremely happy and at ease, as I know that after Sisu is on this side of the belly, we can really operate as a strong team to tackle the daily life together. This time has been good practice for what's to come. Thanks to this experience we trust each other more in allowing both the space & style each of us does things but also trust each other more in daring to ask for help and allowing to be helped.

One day on the couch gave me the idea of wanting to take this time as self development as well, prepare myself for what is to come.
I have done that in few different ways; I purchased a package of sessions with an energy coach / spiritual life coach. We do the sessions via Skype, which is great, as my mobility limitation plays no role that way. In addition I have knowingly worked on my own and taken a deeper look inside of me, to the person I am, as well as what kind of person I want to be and what are the changes coming ahead, how do I want to deal with those, etc.  On top of that I have read about practical, psychological and spiritual sides of caring for the baby & parenting.

My coach has helped me to get simple tools to allow the warrior in me to get a calmer state. Especially during night time. I have been able to sleep better the past few weeks than I have in months...despite being pregnant at this stage. Either Sisu is more gentle during the night or sleeping mainly too...but apart from few nights, I have not woken up to him kicking. Other things we have worked on is to prepare for the birth and bonding with the baby.

I am talking to the baby every day and he is coming to my dreams on some nights. One night the following experience gave me goose bumps; I was deep in the dream and heard child voice shouting loud in Finnish: ÄITI!!! ÄITI!!! ÄITI!!! (MOM!!! MOM!!! MOM!!!) I woke up to that and first wondered what was wrong, I was worried. Second later I realized that I had been sleeping deep and sound on my back. That is at this stage of pregnancy a big no-no because of weakening the blood supply to the baby.

I have not been nervous about giving birth too much before but now I am even less. I don't know why...but I am actually looking forward to the experience when the time comes.
In my view I get to be the tool to add life to this side of the curtain. After having had to allow people I love to move to the next room, behind the curtain...it fills me with positive emotion finally to be able to help to create a positive balance for a change. Help our little boy to be born and help his soul to jump to the carousel of life. For a moment I get to be tightly connected to the universe.

My coach gave the nice idea to think about the birth as a family adventure or day in the amusement park. The roller coaster and the all the crazy rides, which make one feel the sensations...sometimes not far from the pelvic pressure and the rest.
My husband loves amusement parks as well. We have been taking some of the most fun rides together. So, we talked that this experience will serve well to that list....adventure ride for 3 of us together.

Remains to be seen how this chess game of the universe plays out and whether my moves help to prolong the game till full time :)