...but there is always hope!I recently read a great article from the leading Finnish newspaper. It was encouraging people to speak openly about their miscarriage experiences. As it is very common but too often couples hide it under the carpets. Which may lead to longer healing time.
So, here I go...breaking the ice.
I had a miscarriage during the first pregnancy. And yes, it did hit me brutally. On all fronts; mentally, physically and emotionally. Especially after the initial joy of getting pregnant really fast (when taking into consideration that I am not twenty any longer, at least physically...LOL!).
It had happened during the 6th pregnancy week, I got to know about it during the doctor's visit in week 10. What helped a lot was the fact that my doctor really cares for his patients and treats them like humans. He sat next to me and took the tissue box out, and allowed me to cry it out. He was close by and gave me the comforting feeling of not being alone.
It helped also a lot that my husband came home from work immediately when he got the news. He has a golden heart and very beautiful mind. He gave me lot of positive energy and reminded me that we will try again...until we succeed.
The initial feeling I went though was disappointment and feeling of failure. I would describe it like having had the highest airline status with all the extras and suddenly, without any warning, you get downgraded back to the basic level. Just like that.
Having talked openly about this confirmed one thing....I am not alone with the experience. It is more common than not to hear people commenting back "happened to me / us as well". Yet all of them have happily children today. Speaking up about it bonds with people that you could not even imagine.
Pregnancy is a huge change to the body and getting 100% everything right from the first attempt is not always possible. It is like trying to bring a diesel vehicle to speed up from 0 to 100. It takes some time and patience. Thus having one or two set backs is not a reason to give up. Nor should one blame oneself or become hopeless. In today's world, there is always a way if there is a strong will. Thus there is hope!
With the help of my husband, family, friends and my own iron will I bounced back from it really well. Speaking about it and working through the hurdle but on the other hand moving on and looking towards the future. Understanding that it was not a change of plans, just a delay.
On the positive side, after that experience, I know to appreciate the pregnancy experience on a whole different level. About two months later I was pregnant again and am furthermore on that journey. Even though it has been a bumpy ride, each day further is a blessing and pure joy! I will come back to some of the bumps in later posts.
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