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Monday, September 28, 2015

Wk 33 - Learning a lot about the little fellow already

Mondays have gotten a totally different meaning nowadays. Monday is always the cut off to a new pregnancy week in my case, thus a very positive day. One week further again, hurray!

On Sunday, which closed the wk 32, was a happy day.
My husband got me a nice picture with the text: "You are my sunshine". It made me happy. There are rare moments when I momentarily feel that me and the Kugel / Kuula (Canon ball) are kind of full maintenance, since I cannot do anything useful around the house. It was so nice and uplifting to get the confirmation that we as a team are doing fine and my positive spirit shows.

We felt like celebrating on Sunday evening reaching one of the milestones: getting beyond the worst risk zone. In our case this meant eating air popped popcorns (no salt, nor butter) and slice of carrot cake. Wuhhuuu! I do not eat much of sweet stuff anyway but have cut it to nearly non-existence during the pregnancy. Eating the slice of a carrot cake was funny experience. It was awesome but it also felt like more than plenty. I could feel that my body was momentarily confused about what was going on :) All that fun was accompanied by Madagascar 2 movie. In other words a perfect celebration evening!

I cannot wait to have Sisu in the age, where we can watch cartoon movies together. I just love cartoon movies and family movies. I still recall one of my god-daughters once looking at my DVD shelf (before I gave most of them away when moving to US) and asking:"Aunt-Inna, why are you having so many kids movies but you do not have any kids?" I tried to answer her first like a normal adult would:"So that you would have plenty to watch when ever you are here." But kids know when you are trying to bluff...she looked at me with her eye brows shrunk. The facial expression that has the stamp all over:"Not buying any of that!" I gave in and admitted that I just simply love watching cartoon movies. After which we sat together, in our home made movie theater, watching one of the movies and had so much fun :) My nephews have learned it fast too that I like watching what they watch. Which sometimes means...watching the Cars movie 5 times :)

The past days and nights I have learned to tell bit more the different movements that Sisu has. As I have shared before, he is a very active little guy. I have been able to learn by observing the different pattern and strength of his movements between when he is active, sleeping or even crying.

Yes, crying is not something they learn from the spot when they are born and do the trick like masters from first attempt. Research shows that from wk 28 onwards babies express their displeasure while crying in the womb. Since there is none or very little air bubbles there, it more like a silent cry.

But I was able to tell one night our little guy not being very happy, he was kicking and boxing, strong punches, with all 4 at fast speed. He woke me up with that.
Not sure if it was all the refried beans that my husband has cooked, which may have, apart from making him displeased, but also provided some air bubbles to the womb as well. LOL! As in the silence of the night I could hear few very faint wailing sounds coming from....inside of me (no, it was not intestant grumbling).
More like the sounds that dolphins make to each other when they are under water.

I followed my instinct and started talking with a calm voice, also rubbing the spots, where I felt his feet kicking. Few moments later he calmed down and I could feel that his movements changed to the ones he has, when he sleeps.
At that moment I wish I could have woken up my husband but did not dare. I was smiling this huge smile in the darkness of our bedroom. Before our little boy has been even born, I was able to calm him down. I was able to communicate to him in a way, which helped him to go back to sleep. No words can describe the happiness cloud that I was sailing in for a while, until I too fell asleep.

When Sisu sleeps the movements are more gentle. More like a little the cute dog puppies when they are twitching during their sleep. Very gentle, short and small movements.

Most of the nights Sisu lets me sleep and he seems to sleep most of the night too. In the morning he usually makes sure that I get my internal alarm as per the routine schedule, at 8 am. If I am not up by then, little boxing and kicking starts. No matter which day of the week it is.
Some mornings I am able to negotiate with him that we will stay in bed bit longer :)

During most days he has his exercise routines, which include aqua yoga, aqua stretching, boxing and dancing. Some days it feels like he is renovating more space in his belly apartment, as the bouncing around looks more like something is gonna come through the belly soon. Sisu seems to really like it when me or my husband stroke the spot, where we can feel his foot stretched. So, he is getting pampered already with a baby massage :) :)

There have been only few nights, when he has been dancing the night away and not giving me the internal alarm in the morning.
It seems that both of us are sensitive to the full moon :) Last night I was awake and Sisu was having a full moon party to celebrate the super moon. Same thing happened with last full moon. I take it positively though. Being sensitive to the moon cycle means that one has the bond to the nature and its energies, which to me has always been an important connection to have in life.

Talking about the nature....
As the Halloween and autumn time is approaching; from me and Sisu in the Kugel/Kuula - wishing you an autumn and Halloween filled with joy!

Baby jacket - Another knitting project for cooler days


I found this lovely model of baby jacket, which matches the style of the train socks and mitten.

It was really easy to knit, even though I was not familiar from before to knit following English or Spanish instructions. Learned lot of new useful vocabulary and the pictures in the instruction in Spanish help to get an understanding of how the jacket starts shaping its form.

I got the same yarn left also in grey and I might just do another one in different size or striped one, once I am done with the socks and mitten.

Link to the free patterns:
Original model pattern: LINK
Modernized version in Spanish with detailed instructions: LINK

Wednesday, September 23, 2015

Wk 32 - Happy milestone!

This week is a great milestone on our journey! No, we are not there yet...and even though I am totally thrilled that I got Sisu's knitted cardigan ready, it is not the reason why I could dance around happy.

From this week onwards (moderately preterm or late preterm), would Little Sisu decide to make his grand entrance, the research shows that long term outcome is same as with babies born full term. We are out of the long term risk zone! Yeiii!

It was nice to share the joy also with few colleagues, who paid a visit earlier this week. One of them brought flowers and "survival bag" with ingredients to make fajitas. Such a lovely gesture and nice to have some company on my couch :)

To celebrate the milestone my husband got lovely flowers too. He has been reading all possible
preterm labor studies and knows that from this week onwards long term impact to Sisu will be minimized to the same level as full term babies.

Knowing that makes me even happier than before. Despite all the initial forecast, we have made it out of the deep waters and are on our safe way to the harbor. There are no real words to describe the feeling in reality. Just this unlimited happiness, knowing that with the good team work we have managed to provide to our little boy as healthy start to life as possible.

As per the statistics the average baby boy weight this week would be around 1.8 kg / 3 lb 15.5 oz. Well Sisu was already 1.5 weeks ago 1.6 kg / 3 lb 9 oz.  So, this week he has most likely passed 2 kg border. Based on how he is stretching me nowadays I would say that assumption to be a right on spot :)

His good growth is making me smile out of happiness. Even if it means that lately his frequent stretching exercises feel every time like he would be firing something up and looks like an alien is trying to break free through my belly :) His one room belly-apartment is clearly running out of any free space and he has to squeeze himself to fit in.

One reason to pride I have is his growth, that is coming purely from healthy diet and good home cooking. My husband has become the expert of healthy but delicious home cooking :) It used to be mainly just me and if he was left on his own devices, he would cook...well what ever one learned during college to cook. Nowadays there are 2 of us who know to cook proper meals in this family.
I will write about my thoughts around the nutrition in a separate post. As that is one of my passionate interest areas, apart from sports & exercise.

I have kept telling Sisu each day this week that we got at least 5 more weeks to go.
Yet I am not forgetting the amazing fact that we have come already 8 weeks further than anyone dared to believe initially. YESSSS! Goes to show that keeping the head up and positive attitude on takes one far. Keeping my eyes looking forward filled with joy!

I have decided long ago that as much as I can influence on the outcome...I will not give up, nor will I allow any misery about the circumstances kick in. I will fight with a positive determination. Even if it means that the final weeks would need to take place while standing on my head. Luckily my 1 and 1/2 men are in this with the same attitude <3

Friday, September 18, 2015

TGIF - Simple Joys of Life & Slow Life

Life in today's world is hectic, easily overfilled with sensory overload. If there is a moment of peace & quiet, one escapes the calm moment to a shopping mall or grocery store...just because.

Myself, and many I know, have tough time to "just do NOthing". Yet, that is as per the recent research results one important skill in preventing one to burn the candles from both ends. I think during the past 7 weeks I have finally learned the skill, even managed to make peace with it....and strangely enough, enjoy it.

The amazing energy charge one has after a moment of not having done anything special, just letting the mind run its own path. The trick to the energy charge is first to get rid of the feel of "I should be doing something useful" and enforced feeling of guilt that us over-performers first link to such activity of doing "nothing".

What it ultimately leads to as well is the awareness of simple joys and positive things in the daily life.  One gets also lot more ideas that way. When the mind is not over crowded or sensors are left to rest, instead of focusing on wants & wish to have & co., one starts paying more attention to here and now. One does not try to operate the mind but allows it to "take a walk in the park". I feel also that I am able to be more present now than I have been before. All of this is again positive development to all the relationships and maintaining them, not to mention what's needed in the future with Sisu.

Spotted interesting info from a Finnish Baby magazine: Recent study shows that if parents are not present when interacting with the baby, the baby is not getting the necessary responses to its communication attempts. Which leads possibly to slower development in communication but also on the emotional side as well. Starting from as little thing as whether the baby gets easily response to the eye contact with the parent and of course the amount of skin contact, since skin & body is in the beginning the antenna of the baby.


A simple joy moment example: Me knitting on the couch...and then stopping it, cause my attention is
directed to observing my husband cooking in the kitchen. Not sure how long I happily drifted in that activity, just simply enjoying watching him fuzzing around. We did not talk, he did not even notice I was observing. He was so happy in his own world. Such a beautiful moment, happy and so much pure positive energy with very little effort.

Another simple joy is the feeling of happiness, which carries on for days, when getting audio & video calls from near and far.  The happiness just takes over the whole body and mind, keeps making me smile even few days later.
I like the feeling I have managed to gain; there is nothing else I need to do right now. I can and WANT (This is the most important part; Wanting to give the undivided attention) give my 100% concentration to the call and the discussions. One can easily get that organized in normal life too...just stop and focus on the call or on the person one is talking with. I have had the habits of not taking calls when visiting a friend & family or having visitors. Yet, calming the mind to focus fully on the other persons story and just taking it in, that requires conscious adjustment and the will allow one to do so.

It is nice feeling when my family & friends from across the Atlantic take the time to send message or call. Makes me so happy to hear from those, who are with in the spirit all the way from there. Funny....before I was closer by and visited them on regular basis but at the same busy working as well.
The network here, family and friends. One knows to appreciate it now even more than before. Having the time just to talk, not just catching up but talking about life and their experiences.

Acknowledging that family & friends, near and far, have a choice and lot of other things to do...yet they want to hear how I am doing or stop by for a visit. There were times before, when I sometimes felt afterwards, that I was not able to fully listen or focus on the person...cause my mind was working on 10 other things or nagging about something I should be doing to be really efficient.

Now one is able to focus on the calls & visits in a whole different way and the mind is not trying to race through 100 others things parallel.

There is also the amazing positive force of getting support from people, who I have not even met, but who are fighting in same spirit their own battles. Or people, who are friends of my American parents and send their best wishes and share that they include us 3 in their prayers. Makes one really humble and thankful.

In this current slow life....the difference between weekday and weekend kind of vanishes when one is on bed/couch rest. Yet, one can make a special feel to them. Today I decided to allow my feet enjoy the Friday feel. Have not done that for a while. When I run, I have the habit at least once a week treat my feet...but lately, well have not been running, so have kind of forgotten that nice routine.
Whether running, pregnant or not, feet appreciate the attention and pay it forward to your whole well being. They don't say for nothing that feet are the foundation to your entire body :) and in Asian culture feet are the gateway also to stress relief and mental well being. Another good old saying comes from Germany "your feet are your auxiliary kidneys".

Alkaline foot bath, nice brushing and scrubbing with Clarisonic supporting the activity. At the end my feet were as smooth as baby's butt :) Apart from that I was nearly dancing around and felt like a new person. The great side effect of the alkaline foot bath / bath is its detox effect and how it helps the skin to restore its balance. I have long ago stopped using anything else than ph balanced shower gels but alkaline boost every now and then, makes wonders :)
Meine Base alkaline salt: LINK

Maybe next Friday I put on a really lovely facial mask and get my husband to laugh at the same :)

Happy TGIF!!!

Positive side effects of bed/couch rest - Mental growth & relationship development



Who would have thought that so much good can come out of what my doctor calls "torturing" i.e. spending weeks in bed/couch rest? Initially I did not realize how positive this whole experience can be.

The most simple side effect is what has been the most difficult one for me to achieve in the past years....letting go of being in charge and allowing myself to need anyone.
The is positive side of being very independent but in a relationship it can also cause challenges. Moving to US was first good step in the development. I was in a completely new and strange environment. I allowed myself to need my husband to help me to get settled. He did such an excellent job in it and continues doing that every time something new comes my way (dealing with taxes, health insurance, etc.).

Now I have taken the second, even bigger step. Since I cannot do anything much, I had to let go and allow my husband to take over running the household. After first few days I realized how positive this change was to our relationship! We both were thrown outside of our comfort zone, yet had to work as a team. My role was to allow my husband to do things in his way and stay out of "his kitchen" (as it is called nowadays) and his role was to take on everything to keep things rolling.

I used to hear from him the statements that he does not cook, nor does he like doing laundry or grocery shopping. What I have noticed while observing...he is an EXCELLENT cook! He cooks some Finnish dishes better than I do, he spices them up nicely. He is amazingly reliable grocery shopper, event without a list he knows to bring the right items. He seems rather content too :)

My husband has, due to his own positive experience in all this, helped me also to get away from feeling guilty about not being able to do anything. Every time I have tried to offer help or trying to sneak to the kitchen help, I get a loving but firm command:" Couch, now." or "Yes, you can help by going to the couch and keep me company or just look pretty."

Goes without saying how happy and proud I am of him, not to mention so very grateful. I would even date to say that our relationship has changed positively, we have strengthened the bond between each other. We have been a great team since day one but we are now even a stronger team together.

I am extremely happy and at ease, as I know that after Sisu is on this side of the belly, we can really operate as a strong team to tackle the daily life together. This time has been good practice for what's to come. Thanks to this experience we trust each other more in allowing both the space & style each of us does things but also trust each other more in daring to ask for help and allowing to be helped.

One day on the couch gave me the idea of wanting to take this time as self development as well, prepare myself for what is to come.
I have done that in few different ways; I purchased a package of sessions with an energy coach / spiritual life coach. We do the sessions via Skype, which is great, as my mobility limitation plays no role that way. In addition I have knowingly worked on my own and taken a deeper look inside of me, to the person I am, as well as what kind of person I want to be and what are the changes coming ahead, how do I want to deal with those, etc.  On top of that I have read about practical, psychological and spiritual sides of caring for the baby & parenting.

My coach has helped me to get simple tools to allow the warrior in me to get a calmer state. Especially during night time. I have been able to sleep better the past few weeks than I have in months...despite being pregnant at this stage. Either Sisu is more gentle during the night or sleeping mainly too...but apart from few nights, I have not woken up to him kicking. Other things we have worked on is to prepare for the birth and bonding with the baby.

I am talking to the baby every day and he is coming to my dreams on some nights. One night the following experience gave me goose bumps; I was deep in the dream and heard child voice shouting loud in Finnish: ÄITI!!! ÄITI!!! ÄITI!!! (MOM!!! MOM!!! MOM!!!) I woke up to that and first wondered what was wrong, I was worried. Second later I realized that I had been sleeping deep and sound on my back. That is at this stage of pregnancy a big no-no because of weakening the blood supply to the baby.

I have not been nervous about giving birth too much before but now I am even less. I don't know why...but I am actually looking forward to the experience when the time comes.
In my view I get to be the tool to add life to this side of the curtain. After having had to allow people I love to move to the next room, behind the curtain...it fills me with positive emotion finally to be able to help to create a positive balance for a change. Help our little boy to be born and help his soul to jump to the carousel of life. For a moment I get to be tightly connected to the universe.

My coach gave the nice idea to think about the birth as a family adventure or day in the amusement park. The roller coaster and the all the crazy rides, which make one feel the sensations...sometimes not far from the pelvic pressure and the rest.
My husband loves amusement parks as well. We have been taking some of the most fun rides together. So, we talked that this experience will serve well to that list....adventure ride for 3 of us together.

Remains to be seen how this chess game of the universe plays out and whether my moves help to prolong the game till full time :)

Tuesday, September 15, 2015

Wk 31 - Trying to find answers, which I cannot get

 Pregnancy can be at times a emotional roller coaster. Till now I have not had much of that and been mainly happy and calm about what is now and what is coming.

I was wondering though yesterday why I felt so eager, or even passionate, about digging into the history and current state of breast feeding. Sleep does amazing things....it gives one answers, if one is willing to receive those. This morning the answer struck me loud and clear.

Yes, I am curious mind, especially about cultural differences and want to always to understand them as widely as possible. To me it is not enough to state "Well, it just is different cause it is a different country", and leave it at that. I want to understand. I also get curious about things that many others would not even think about or pay attention to. My husband, who is a walking knowledge bank, has had so many occasions where he did not know the answer to my question and had to dig out his phone from his pocket to check :) Good practice already for his future role as a father :)

But the underlying reasons for this hunt for information were way deeper....I was trying to find answers, which I cannot get. My two female heroines are not in this world any longer, my mother and my mummi (grandma). They have both moved on to the next room and as much as I know they observe what happens here...this morning I wished I could sit down with them in mummi's kitchen and hear how it all was for them.

I had already earlier put bravely a rubber stamp "not possible to disclose" on those topics but out of all people I should have known better that it does not work just like that.

This morning as the answer struck me, at the same came the tears. I did not care so much anymore about getting to know what kind of stories my mother would tell about her maternity, breast feeding and how I was as a baby. I just missed her and I missed my mummi. I miss the lioness like not-giving-up-spirit both women possessed, as well as the courage to do crazy things, their creativity and humor. Most of all the close bond I had with both. Both women knew without words and even from a distance if things were not right. They did not need Facebook, they felt it. I used to dislike that when I was younger...cause I could not get away with anything :)

This morning I wish I had them with me, sharing this amazing journey. To make peace with this,  allowing myself to feel how much I miss them both and share with Sisu what amazing women have come before me in our family. My mom was a package full of emotional intelligence and forever a little rascal. She used to say:" I rather have lived and loved to the full and burned with it than sit in a rocking chair later in life, not feeling anything, cause I tried to keep my life safe." Well, she surely lived and loved...with every piece of her existence. Her emotions were louder than Pavarotti's voice.

I am thankful for both women for passing on to me the not-giving-up-spirit, mental & emotional strength. All that has kept me positive and with the mind set "we can do this" regardless of what has happened during the pregnancy. I have not had the pregnancy I had hoped for but I have had the pregnancy I needed to have to allow me to grow in a different area and transition to a mother-to-be.

I am really looking forward with a positive feeling towards delivering little Sisu to this side of the world. I know it will go well if our team of 3 (Sisu, my husband and myself) work as the good team we have been throughout this journey so far. I might not get to hear answers to how breast feeding was for my mom or how she felt about maternity, or how I was a baby. I have come to the conclusion that at the end how it was when me or my husband were born, it does not really matter.

Sisu is an unique individual and how everything works out with us 3, it is up to us 3 to make it all work our way. It is up to me and Sisu to team up to get the breast feeding to work, as it is up to us 3 to team up to have our new daily routines implemented. In my heart I know that it will go well.

I recall when my nephews were born, I was so eager to see how they remind my dear brother or his darling wife, my mother, my mummi or even me. Yes, they have features here and there from all BUT they taught me to realize very fast that they are both unique individuals and have both the most amazingly beautiful minds & hearts, their very own kind.

Our little guy will be a handful for sure but in his very own way :) and his mother is again one step
further ready to be a mother. Sending my love to my mother and my mummi and with that inside I have a calm & loving feeling. Our team of 3 knew even how to tackle this one. My husband holding me in his arms this morning, listening and giving his great support. Sisu kicking in full understanding and giving the reassurance that we will be just fine. I am so thankful for my 1 and 1/2 men :)

Sunday, September 13, 2015

Multicolored topic - Feeding the baby / Infant feeding

One of the best parts about being pregnant elsewhere than in your birth country is the possibility to learn several sides of the same matter.  One of the topics, which seems to have many faces is feeding the baby.

As I have had the time in my hands during my past weeks bed/couch rest period, I have observed the discussion forums of expectant mothers and mothers, who have a baby/babies. My observations have been mainly in discussion forums in US and Finland, but parallel I took a peak also to the Swedish and German ones. It inspired me though to get deeper and learn more about also the history of infant feeding.

I am fully aware that this topic is sensitive for many, for different reasons, thus I hope to be able to share my findings rather from "curious mind wants to know" perspective than anything else. Before looking how things are now, one should go back and try to gain a glimpse of the history.
As in everything, I think that in order to know where you are now or heading to, one should know
where you are coming from.

A snapshot of the history:
Finland and US have had very different approaches to this area, which makes the topic even more interesting to look at it from both countries' perspective. My curious mind is already tingling out of joy!

The changes in society have been the triggers to change habits around infant feeding. Thus I limit my snapshot mainly to the era when industrialization started to take its foothold.

US was big step ahead in the industrialization, which drove changes to infant feeding as well.
Through the 1800s most mothers breastfed their children. In the cases, where it was not possible or the mother died during labor, wet nursing was used as an alternative. In South, during the years of slavery, slave women were used as wet nurses. When all else was out of the question artificial aka home grown infant feeding methods were used. This meant animal milk, broth, tea, bread soaked in water or animal milk. Feeding bottles made of glass, tin or other metal were used for this. Sometimes adult food was mashed to feed the child. Basically anything was tried to keep the baby alive.

It was mainly due to vanity, wealth or pressure from the husband's side during this era that small number of women would breast feed only a very limited time or refuse totally to breast feed and use e.g. wet nurse to feed the child.

Apart from industrialization having taken a leap, hospitalization of child birth and the increase of pediatrician practice brought the interest to develop a better alternative than the previously mentioned artificial feeding methods. One of the reasons behind was the concern for infant mortality. Around mid 1800 those concerns linked to invention of rubber nipple & baby bottle gave enough ground to start the research and hunt for a baby formula. From 1910 onwards the market for baby formula grew steadily.

A Boston study from 1911 showed that 20% of bottle fed babies died before reaching the age of one. Where as for breast fed children the rate was 3% in comparison.

During this time also milk stations were established for proving clean milk for urban consumption, milk pasteurization launched and other activities to reduce any risk of bacteria. At this time also the human milk banks, which are in use still today, were established. Places were mothers could go and bump their excess milk to help other mothers in the need of milk for their infants.

Parallel the development of baby formula was brought to new heights with the use of evaporated baby milk formulas from 1910 onwards.

As per the data I was able to gather online, by 1950 baby formula was the primary choice for infant feeding. So, in relatively short period of time, a drastic change took place: over 50% of the babies in US were now fed by commercialized baby formula. At the same time urbanization shifted yet another gear for women, moving them from homes and kitchens to public and work life. Leading to even further reduction of breast feeding. By 1970 only 25% women were breast feeding their babies, and of those only 20% continued beyond 6 months.

Meanwhile in Finland from early till mid 1900s the impacts of industrialization were still minor, majority of the population's income was still linked to farming and agriculture. Also the attempts to have all kinds of "home grown" baby formula had resulted to the formula fed babies risk of dying being 3 times higher than breastfed babies during early 1900s.
In 1936 our legendary pioneer of childrens' pediatrician, Arvo Ylppö, was big promoter of breastfeeding. He helped to bring mother milk centers to Finland for sick or prematurely born babies.
The first commercial baby formula entered the Finnish market only in 1956.

Industrialization and urbanization reached Finland during 1960s, including hospitals taking bigger role in child birth. Instead of giving birth in the sauna, women moved to give birth in hospitals. Industrialization had also the side effects to women and infant feeding following the schedules and rules of the changed society. Women entering work life and having insufficient break from work to care for the baby (from breast feeding perspective).

With those changes came the change to recommendation around the length and schedules of infant feeding. Instead of following the child's needs one tried to force the feeding to take place only 5-6 times a day. Which we know today, leads to very unpleasant (or even painful) experience to the mother and reduces the milk amount. Another recommendation at the time was to reduce the duration of breastfeeding. Where it had previously been 1-2 years, it was changed to 3 months. Lot of pressure and rules to the new mothers. Baby formula was still seen as a secondary option and aid in the panic of trying to comply with all the rules enforced to new mothers. As well as trying to keep the child fed with the reduced amounts of breast milk (which was mainly due to trying to comply with the limited feeding times).

What happened in Finland though during 1970s was exactly the opposite. Awareness had reached the population about the benefits of breastfeeding vs formula feeding. Unethical marketing of baby formula got consumers to boycott the products. Suddenly the direction was exactly the opposite than a decade before. Women started to demand to get "back to the roots", more natural birthing style and nursing & caring the babies by themselves in their room from birth onwards. This lead steadily to increasing the recommendation of the infant feeding time, which rose back to 1-2 years.

"Back to breast feeding" occurrence was seen in US during 1980s. Women were encouraged to go after more independence and self-fullfilment through better education. As well as going out to the market place, after the available jobs instead of housewifery. Yet importance of breast feeding was emphasized at the same. This lead to breast feeding reaching as a high as 52% by 1990. This was a major win also for La Leche League, which had since 1956 tried to raise the awareness of breast feeding and supported the mothers in learning the art of breast feeding.
Today the organization is international. Funny enough, they are active through the Nordic countries, except Finland. More about the history of La Leche League: LINK.

What was based on my findings, one major difference between the two countries, was that in US women breast feeding their children stayed as an encouragement. How the women were supposed to take care of it was left on their own devices and often times under lot of pressure as well. Not all women had either means to understand the concrete health benefits breastfeeding vs baby formula, nor the support available. Which has resulted partially to baby formula staying for many as primary choice and the general attitude has been that baby formula is normal.
When in 1800 wealth resulted to some women refusing from breast feeding, this has changed during the years to wealth (and proper employer support) enabling to breast feed. Lower income mothers are not standing on the same line, unfortunately.

Where as in Finland, from the baby steps from 1917 the major breakthrough was during 1970. Having the Employment contract act including already 105 days of maternity leave, linked to maternity allowance for the same period of time.  Since then the development has only been positive resulting to additional nursing & parental leave, and later on to additional paternity leave. All these are protected leaves and as part of the legislation. Mothers and families have been given not only the encouragement to care for their child but also the legal support to do so. At the same removing the possible impact of education / income level / employer to that decision.

Where are we now?
In my view....if we could combine the best of both countries, world would be wonderful. Below is the summary based on my personal observation and gathering data available. About 70% of all mothers breast feed their child in US but only 49% continued to breast feed till 6 months and even less, 27% continued to feed till child was 12 months old.

Finland lies bit higher in the percentages, yet it has the lowest rank within the Nordics. Thus campaigns have been launched to change the trend. 92% of the new mothers have started breast feeding but for one reason or another the percentage decreases from there. Leading to children at the age of 4 months 68% being breast fed,  23% fully breast fed (without partial solid food of formula to support). At the age of one year only 1/3 of the children were still breast fed.

Let us start with the view of legislative support perspective:
As of the 2014 report by the International Labor Organization, two countries where parental leave is not a legal right is Papua New Guinea and US. Apart from that there are only 3 countries in the world, where paid maternity leave is not supported in an organized way. Yes, the two already mentioned countries make to that list too on top of Suriname.

In US the lack of legislative maternity/parental and nursing leave means for many families either no paid leave or paid leave, which is max 6 weeks.
In past years more noise has been made about US being the only civilized country without a proper maternity & nursing leave, protecting the mother's employment. Some companies have responded but each in their own way. The maximum paid leave in majority of companies with "great benefits" is 3 months. Netflix recently made a bold move to offer women in total 26 weeks of paid maternity leave (combination of medical and parental leave). Netflix made a good opening but until parental leaves are standardized legal right, many hesitate to take them. It is not in all companies that those leaves equal to protected leave. Not to mention the space for social pressure.

The lack of standardized approach to support possibility to nurse the baby or lack of legal rights in this matter puts many mothers to be responsible alone for the decision, whether to start breast feeding at all and if yes, what to do after you go back to work? For the lower income families staying away from work as short as possible and using formula is lesser "evil" than taking extended leave and then trying to pump during the lunch break at work. Since pumping during work hours may be seen negatively.

In the bigger organizations, who also care for their public image, one can have access to a luxurious "pumping room". Where mothers can go pump the excess milk and store it in the fridge. Obama care has also brought the breast bump to the reach of all mothers. Which is another positive step to the right direction.

Meanwhile in Finland, mothers enjoy as legal right the paid maternity leave 105 days, after which they or the father can take parenting leave of 158 days. On top of that a parent (mother or father) of a child under 3 years can stay home on an unpaid leave to take care of the child, i.e. care taking leave. On top of this the father has possibility to take 9 weeks of paternity leave. For the parts, which are unpaid by employer, the social security allowances kick in. The allowances are only partial compared to the fully paid leaves, but give still support to take the time off from work to care for the child.

So, I would throw into "my dream solution basket" the Finnish legal rights and Obama care. Just because I think it is a great idea to allow mothers to have a proper breast bump, regardless whether they stay home caring for the child or return to the office. On top of that I would include the Finnish Baby Box availability to all mothers.

What about the social attitude?
The generation X and Y are now the ones giving birth. The history snapshot helps to understand the somewhat different starting point to the generations in both countries towards breast feeding and baby formula.

In Finland breast feeding is considered by majority still the primary choice. The current generations of mothers were mainly breast fed as a child.
It is also considered as natural as ....going to sauna naked or eating. You will see more motbers breast feeding in public and no reactions are present. Cause breast feeding is not linked to sexuality, it is commonly understood to be the lifeline of an infant. I think also thanks to the Finnish sauna culture there is less fuss about seeing a breast in baby's mouth, as all of us have seen our mothers naked.

During the 1970s breast feeding was taken to a different level and women were proud of it, not hiding it. Thus everyone has seen for a long while already mothers breast feeding a baby.
So, the level of social acceptance is higher and level of shame is lower. Good amount of mothers do not feel the need today to use any kind of blanket covering while breast feeding.

An example from my observations: a mother can ride in a public transport vehicle (metro, subway, bus, etc.) and breast feed the child openly without any reaction from anyone. If the child is not done with eating by the time the stop for getting off arrives, the mother continues feeding while exiting and people around normally offer to help to get the baby stroller etc. carried out. Because everyone understands how important it is for the baby to be fed.

In US the majority of people are not there yet. Feeling of embarrassment and being socially isolated shadows still breast feeding. In some cases expectations are there for the mother to go behind closed doors to breast feed, even within the family or relatives. Breast feeding is linked to sexuality for some reason, instead of seeing it as the crucial lifeline for the baby. Thus it has been considered to be shameful and inappropriate to breast feed, unless behind closed doors. In some areas of the country one has been able to move from behind the closed doors or using public restrooms to covering the baby with a blanket (which is not always preferred by the baby, especially in a hot climate).
Lately more and more media attention has been made by celebrity mothers and their urge to breast feed in public. Laws have been also passed in many states to allow mothers to breast feed in public.
All this is seen positive by many women but it will require more acceptance from the mainstream to get the attitude adjustment. As it seems based on the community discussions, mothers are on it :) They are out and about, they are feeding, in increasing numbers and their husbands are supporting them :)

Meanwhile in Finland...I have noticed the high independence level of Finnish women is showing few new rising trends. Mothers wanting to make their own decisions, which in some cases decrease the dependency between the child and the mother but lead to more freedom of the mother. Formula is seen as  some level of ease as well, the mother not being only food source to the baby.

Yet, it seems that majority of people consider still breast feeding the primary choice and baby formula being the aid, when the first mentioned fails. Which may be a rising trend for the current generations, cause we have grown in a more ready made world compared to our mothers and grand-mothers. The tolerance towards the time span to make things work is shorter and perhaps expectations "mother nature" taking care of it all are causing part of the pain. As the reality is...one needs to learn it and prepare for breast feeding prior giving birth. It also takes a lot of time during the first months. The patience to wait till one starts feeding solid food to the child seems to have decreased lately. Rush and feeling the need to have freedom / independency is slowly creeping to the relationship between the mother and infant.

Lot of "mental beating" is done by the mothers themselves while going through the battle. Often feeling alone in all this. The pressure set by the society is also still there. In many families two previous generations of women were driven by urge to breast feed.

What I am aware of, less marketing is done currently in Finland vs US about the research results between the two approaches. Were as in US it is made more clear in all kind of marketing material, which starts flooding the mail box as soon as one has recorded to be an expectant mother, that there are studies which show link between baby formula feeding and obesity and/or diabetes.

What is also a great plus in US is the organized lactation consultant support. As an example my health insurance covers 6 sessions with a lactation consultant. The role of this person is to help the mother to learn immediately after the child is born the right techniques and support in learning the art of breast feeding. In Houston such resources are available as part of the hospital staff at many birthing hospitals.
One has understood here longer ago that as much as we want it to work like magic taken care by mother nature...well, it does not unless you learn it. Education material is available by so many sources & media to understand the ins and the outs of breastfeeding prior to giving birth. Which helps to set the expectations right and reduce the mental stress (which impacts in a negative way to the whole).

So, to "my dream solution basket" I would take the Finnish social acceptance of breast feeding, whether in public or with the family & relatives. Taking off the unnecessary pressure from the fresh mother (they have enough other pressure to deal with).
If one would look around and pay attention, in comparison one gets to see more breast exposure in advertisements, commercials, beach and movies. Or in a Finnish sauna :)
The little slice of skin that one may see while a mother breast feeds the child (when the baby is covering most of the breast with his/her mouth) is not much to get upset about or if so, then men should not walk around without t-shirt. Cause they are really showing it all, aren't they? :) The very same body part, the only difference is that theirs aren't full of milk.

At the same I would add to "my dream solution basket" the social acceptance to allow the mother to choose which ever feeding form they decide for, whether breast feeding or baby formula. But allow them to have US way easy access to objective research results of educating themselves properly. This leads to them making an educated decision.
As a side bonus I would add more efforts in giving the mothers a standard access to professional lactation consultants and variety of material about breast feeding, starting prior to giving birth and continuing after they are home. This regardless of their income level or insurance type. This way they are not left on their own to try out breast feeding. This would increase the amount of women getting off to a good start and having a positive experience, instead of being left alone to figure it out. That often leads to pain, fear, panic and at the end in many cases; changing to baby formula.

I hope that an organization like La Leche League would be established in Finland too. Again not to leave the mothers alone with the attempts of trying to get the hang of the art of breast feeding. La Leche League appears to be a very active organization, present where the mothers are. Organizing breast feeding meet ups and other events, on top of providing material and support in various forms.

It has been really interesting to realize that simple thing like this has had a very different history in different countries. Thus one cannot take it for granted to understand why and how things work, unless one goes back to the roots.

I have tried to bring the various aspects in but am welcoming comments and stories of your own experience, if you want to share some. 
Thanks in any case for your interest to even read the result of my curious mind journey.

For those interested in more:
Once you start browsing through the colorful history of infant feeding...you will be awed!
Below some of best information sources from all the data I went through:
LINK to Wikipedia's snapshot of breastfeeding,
LINK to history of infant feeding (providing broader view)
LINK to history of infant feeding in US
LINK to breastfeeding history in Finland (in Finnish)
LINK to Barriers to breastfeeding in US
LINK to CNN article "Why we are still so squeamish about breast feeding?"

Saturday, September 12, 2015

Not to be underestimated - GOOD doctor makes all the difference to your pregnancy!

As it has become obvious by now (for those who have read the previous blog posts) that this pregnancy has had its bumpy ride. No matter how I have lived healthy life and exercised vigorously most of my adult life...it does not guarantee that the pregnancy will be like dancing on the rose petals.  In my case it has been more like walking bare foot on a stony beach :)

As I wrote in some of the earlier posts, one's own attitude makes all the difference. Yesterday I realized some of the key reasons why it has been so easy for me to take the positive and "we are going to make it work" attitude....apart from having my husband as my greatest team member, the other reason is: I have such a great doctor! Instead of focusing on the stones under my feet, I can focus on how beautiful the beach is :)

It is all thanks to my husband, who initially did lot of background work (as he does for everything) to find a good doctor. With our corporate insurance it is sometimes easier said than done but on this one, we really were lucky.

Doctor Michael Piegari (Memorial Hermann Group) is the best OB/GYN doctor one could have in Houston. Yesterday's visit showed once again that to be true.

Why is it so important?
Being first time pregnant or having more bumpy ride you really want a doctor that has vast experience and keeps himself updated on all the latest findings.
Due to my own professional background I am not probably the easiest patient, as I want to know. I am hungry for the data. With Dr Piegari I have gotten all the data I needed and wanted to have. Also my professional background has developed me to challenge if I do not trust someone's view to be the right solution for the issue. Let us just say....after you have lead a project in Russia, you tend to question pretty much everything. My motto since then has been: trust is good, control is best.
Yet, I have been so at ease with the pregnancy, as there is nothing I need to question.

Dr Piegari's patients will get his mobile number, which allows one to reach him directly between appointments and outside office hours. I have texted him several times some questions when I had symptoms, which I got concerned about. Each time the correspondence has given me an idea what it could be and his availability to pull me into the schedule on next day. It has also left me at ease, with the feeling "I am not alone with this, Dr Piegari knows and will take care even this. I can relax for now."
It makes a huge difference if you can text or call your doctor in comparison to surfing in the internet and making yourself labeled with dozen other things. Internet is great for educating oneself more about somethings but it is horrible, when you are trying to play your own doctor. Especially pregnant women should stay away from that habit.

Dr Piegari is an expert but an expert doing great work with his heart in it. He truly cares for his patients. The miscarriage in previous pregnancy and the bumps we have had this time around, me or my husband never felt like we were left alone with all that.
I recall getting a call last year from Dr Piegari on New Year's eve to check if I was doing ok and checking how I felt. It gave me comfort and amazing wave of happiness...my doctor cares! I am sure he had plenty other things to do on that day, yet he chose to call and check up on me.

Yesterday's visit was the best. He told me that perhaps after wk 34, if things look good, we could consider allowing me to start modest activity. The next thing he looked at my husband:" Do not let her overdo it, okay?"
I had to laugh so hard....as that was 100% the sign that he has learned to know, not just me but also my husband. He knows by now that "modest" and "activity" are not words I put into a same sentence. As well as that how well my husband knows to manage me :) My husband has a great way "commanding" (not really commanding but in a kind yet firm way to put me back to my current place - the couch) if I even try to "help just a little bit".

My husband is not a fan of spending time at doctor's office and if he has something, I need to use all my negotiation skills to get him to see a doctor. Yet, he feels so comfortable and has full trust & respect to Dr Piegari, that he has willingly joined me when ever he can. That I can say, is a huge compliment.

I think that good (in this case GREAT) doctor makes a big difference to whether or not I can stay relaxed through the pregnancy, even with the bumps along the way. It also makes me relaxed to know that Dr Piegari's medical views are very up-to-date and he is open minded. He works with the patients, treating them with good customer care and respect. He becomes more like a team member during the journey. Last but not least....he treats his patients like humans.
He will be the one with us during the labor, that is part of his work ethics. So, I know that it will not be just some hospital doctor, who happens to be on shift. It will be my doctor, who knows me and knows  my preferences and background. I can focus on the essential and leave the rest to my husband and my doctor.

Not sure whether this might be totally normal practice in most US cases but not always the case in Finland. My past doctor experiences in Finland were, all but one, filled with doctors, who were mostly good but more like Dr House. Academically mostly correct but cold and distant.
Also from my friends and family I know that when in the need of a doctor during the pregnancy, you get the doctor, who happens to be on shift. Puts lot more on the mother-to-be's shoulder to repeat the same stories or ensure that right things are done and things are done right.

After the visit yesterday my husband and myself were smiling in the car, while driving back home....we definitely are in such great hands!
If you asked me for an advice in a nutshell, it would be this: To allow yourself to have a relaxing pregnancy, even with some bumps on the road; do not underestimate the importance of having a good doctor as your team member through the journey. You can always compromise on some things (whether or not have all the latest or most expensive baby gear) but do not compromise on your doctor. Take the time to do the research and choose wisely.
I bet that any new or pro parents reading this are nodding in agreement :) Am I right?

Some pages, which my husband used for finding out the best match:
Healthgrades.com
Vitals.com
RateMD.com
Another good article to prove my case: LINK

Wk 30 - Major milestone reached

Thank you cousin Jane for the lovely picture!
Getting towards the end of the pregnancy week 30 has felt special, I must admit. Not that anything special as such would have happened this week. After all my life right now limits itself to the couch and bed :) Just the simple fact that little Sisu is furthermore still inside the belly and doing really well.
That gives a reason to my joy and reason to breathe. We, my husband, little Sisu and myself as the team, have beaten all the odds already and come a long way!

6 weeks ago during my quick hospital stop due to cervix which has pretty much vanished to the minimum existence and very early contractions everyone around me talked about days. How each day extra would be welcomed. Now we are whole 6 weeks further!

To reach the medical full term minimum limit we have 7 more weeks to go and 10 weeks to the medical full term. The medical full term calculation is based on the so called Naegele's rule from the 1800. Named after the German obstetrician Franz Karl Naegele. In reality recent year researches have shown though that natural gestation time is 41 weeks and 1/3. As we all know though, each baby is an individual and do not develop by the book, nor clock, exactly all in the same schedule.

One more thing that has caused me joy this week is little Sisu starting to do more and more what I call "alien belly dance" or "water aerobics". Means him stretching or moving in the manner that I can see his moves, as he stretches the skin. His one room accommodation is apparently starting to become smaller and smaller for him. Another option is that he is already practicing hard to get to join his mummi's water aerobic class.

Who would have known that I could get so totally crazy about the huge belly, which I now have?!
My younger nephew has formed it in his head that little Sisu is the belly. He keeps asking me to show "little Sisu", when means that he wants to see what size the belly is. Most recent estimate he made was little Sisu apparently getting closer to the magical border of the Estonian water melon :) (he saw some BIG water melons during the summer vacation in Estonia).
I call my belly jokingly "Kugel" (German) or "Kuula" (Finnish), i.e. ball. But the original words do not mean just a normal ball, more like canon ball :)  As that is what it feels like; stone hard Kugel.

Wednesday, September 9, 2015

One step more ready - Baby items organized

My American mom cleared her calendar and came to "mother-sit" me while my husband had to go for a quick trip to London.
I so enjoyed her company and with her help we got some order to all the baby items, we already have. After the move most of those things have just waited in boxes...for that one fine day.

We have been lucky to get most of the things either as 2nd hand
through friends, from Craig's list or from our family & friends at our Baby shower. As long as everything is stacked and packed though, it is tough to form a concrete picture of the areas, which are well taken care of and areas, where we still need to purchase something.

I have come to the conclusion that most items you can really get here as 2nd hand. If one does not happen to have friends, who might be interested to recycle further their baby clothes / items, which are not needed anymore, there are good bunch of other options.

In Houston area our go-to places have been:
Craig's List - we found here infant car seat, exact brand & color we were after
Goodwill - depends bit on the luck what one may find here
Facebook groups for baby clothes & gear exchange for Houston area (several groups exist)
Once Upon a Child - still need to send my husband to check this place out but have heard lot of positive about the items condition, selection and quality

One funny outcome of the sorting project resulted to....we have enough shirts and all...but did not really have any warmer clothing. I had to laugh that 1.5 years in Houston's heat and even I have totally overlooked the fact that November, when Little-Sisu is due, is typically bit cooler month. It is not cool as in Finland-cool :) Daily high drop from +25 C / 76 F to +19 C / 66 F (Finnish summer day) but night temperatures / daily lows may vary between +12 C / 53 F and +7 C / 45 F. Means that one needs to be prepared to dress up additional layer to the little mustard machine (Finnish commonly used nickname to baby, especially baby boy).

The happy mummi-to-be (mummi = grandma) took care of some of the warmer hoodies and onesies during her shopping trip. I took from that the inspiration to start knitting a pullover.

Even though I was not able to participate much in organizing the clothes and things, am so grateful that with the excellent help of my "mother-sitter" all the clothes are washed and all things sorted out. Allows me focus furthermore in keeping the little guy in the belly, as long as possible :)

Overall can say that we are pretty well covered, mainly thanks to all the items & clothes we were able to get or buy from our friends. Baby shower helped a whole lot as well to get the "must buy" list much shorter. More about my first Baby shower experience here: LINK.





Baby Björn and Haul'a Baby 4-in-1 baby carrier

Boppy Nursing Pillow

Ready for our Mustard Machine and bath time fun



Friday, September 4, 2015

Baby knits - fun nesting activity

I have always liked knitting socks and other smaller items. Especially during winter months I used to knit few pairs of socks, hat or scarf.
After moving to Houston that hobby has stayed in the background. I guess mainly for two reasons; lack of time and the heat does not invite to knit.

The nesting effect during the pregnancy has materialized itself in my case as the urge to knit for the baby. Probably since that is an activity which I can perform from the couch.
I just got the baby blanket ready and it makes me so happy. The blanket is big, soft and thick...comforting. The color mixture just makes one happy.

Once the blanket was ready, it reminded me of a line from the Sibelius movie. Sibelius and his sister promising to look after each other:" I will knit you a pullover so big that you can observe the world safely through its loops. I will knit that pullover be so thick that even the longest thorns will not
reach you through it." In my case the pullover became a blanket :)

So, yesterday I was wondering what to knit next. Especially now when I realized that little-Sisu will be living through the Houston "winter months".
It isn't winter for Finns but from a small baby perspective it means that he needs something warmer to wear....yeiiii! Socks, hats, little mittens and maybe a little jacket...which can all be knit.

Like said previously I was "just" an average sock knitter but thanks to internet one can always find a forum / page, where there are plenty of ideas and get advice when needed.

Ravelry is awesome page! I have also found lot of the knitting blogs be excellent source of inspiration and pattern information. Webs has also apart from yarn lot of free patterns.

Today I finally decided to knit as my next project so called train socks and mittens. They are very timely due to their history, Finnish war immigrants but also because simply lovely. Exceptional socks, which stay well in the feet of a little one.
https://silmukoidenseassa.wordpress.com/tag/junasukat/

Those socks originate from Finnish history during 1939. A mother was escaping the war (WWII) with her 2 month old baby girl by train. It was winter but the little girl did not have any socks. The train from Vaasa had to stop because the rail track had been destroyed as a result of bombing. While waiting for the tracks to be repaired the retired handcraft teacher started to unravel her pullover and made socks for the baby girl. Those original socks still exist and since then, the happy mother has continued to knit socks for new born babies, as has her daughter.

See the Finnish train sock pattern and history in English: LINK
 

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